In Marriage & Love on
25 April, 2016

“I hate being single” = “I don’t trust God”



Let’s be honest.

Sometimes our culture just grieves me.

It’s relationship-focused and sex-driven. And it disgusts me. (I obviously don’t feel like sugarcoating today.)

What really bothers me is that I have seen and heard so many people in my generation who absolutely abhor singleness (and even abstinence), as if it’s some sort of disease, disorder or curse.

But let’s just stop for a moment. Have you ever realized that singleness can be a blessing from God? If you’re single and reading this right now, are you willing to let God work in you, refine you and make you into the person you’re called to be (which, you know, could be someone’s future spouse)?

From my experience, singleness can be an amazing time for letting God move in your life and grow you spiritually. But you have to stop holding onto the mindset that our world thrusts upon us, which sounds a little bit like this: “I only have value if I am loved by someone else.” It’s a lie. The truth is, you are loved by God. That alone gives you value.

So honestly? I think singleness can be a gift. An absolute blessing, if we can simply trust God enough to let go. Long story short, to me, “I hate being single” is equal to the statement, “I don’t trust that God has very personally written my story before I was ever born.” After all, God wrote each one of our days before one of them ever came to be (Psalm 139), so if your story includes marriage…well, God’s gonna handle that. Stop worrying.

And truthfully, if you’re running after every attractive person that crosses your path in an effort to cure yourself of loneliness, it may be true that you’re only looking to satisfy your own desires, which isn’t a great recipe for success when it comes to relationships. Nope. The Word tells us that love is selfless:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

So, if you desire to be married one day, I encourage you to start learning selfless love now. Start with loving your neighbor as yourself (that means family, friends and literal neighbors, too)!

And one more thing.

Singleness does not equal unhappiness. Although I am happily married now, I found a lot of joy in singleness when my focus was on Christ! And remember, it’s okay to get on your knees and pray for a future spouse. And wait patiently for them, if indeed that’s what the Lord has in store for you. In fact, I encourage it – I honestly believe a lot of prayers went into my story of how I met my husband.

Be blessed today, especially all you single ladies (and gentlemen).

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  • Joan Sayers

    What a great post! I was NOT a young bride. A lot of my friends were married or engaged. But, I had given my singleness to God! I really had accepted me being single…not what I thought, in my teen years. I wanted to be married…cuz I wanted to be a MOM!!! But, I came to the realization, in college, that God may want me singe. So, I was a peace. Oh, what He taught me!!! After college, I did meet “my husband”! What a joy…to wait on the Lord! Thanks, Jen!

    26 April, 2016 at 9:51 am Reply
    • Jennifer Hope

      Again your comments are so encouraging to me! My story is very similar! I thought I would get married so young… 20, 21 or even 22. But God had other plans. He had to bring me to a place of contended singleness before bringing me my husband, and I’m so glad! If we can’t be content with who we are in Christ without a husband, how can we be content in who we are in Christ WITH a husband?!

      1 June, 2016 at 8:53 pm Reply
  • JJ

    50 years old now and trusted Christ for a lady in my youth. That was my mistake i’m happy you were content in your singleness but many of us are not. Being given the gift of sinleness for many of us is worse than getting fruitcake for Christmas. At least if I don’t like fruitcake I don’t have to eat it, but with God will being singleness for someone you have no choice but to accept it.

    26 June, 2016 at 3:48 am Reply
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