In Marriage & Love on
14 February, 2013

Even if Prince Charming doesn’t come

pexels-photo (3)

It’s Valentine’s Day.

For many people I know, that means today will be filled with chocolate covered candies, oversized bouquets of roses, teddy bears that sing, memorable dates at upscale restaurants and even carefully-planned proposals. Truly, today is such a beautiful opportunity for us to celebrate the earthly love God has blessed us with, and it’s a chance to make sure the ones we love know that we really do love them. {And what girl doesn’t love to don an LBD and be adorned with gifts?}

But, for some of us girls, today won’t consist of a single heart-shaped chocolate or sweet-smelling flower. For some of us girls, the closest we’ll get to receiving a meaningful Hallmark card is the sappy love story we’ll inevitably get sucked into watching on the Hallmark channel as we eat our body weight in ice cream.

But this post isn’t for those who want a pity party. If you want me to look you in the eyes and say, “I’m so sorry you don’t have a valentine this year,” you may as well close your browser this instant. But if you’re ready to put aside your feelings and the negativity that surrounds the world “single” in our present culture, as if it’s some sort of plague…well, keep reading.

Last year on this day, it took a lot of courage for me to publicly declare on my blog that I didn’t need a valentine to know that God cared for me. I had just entered into a season of singleness, and God used what could be viewed as a trial to open my eyes and show me how deeply and intimately He loves me. He showed me that my relationship with Him is far more valuable than any relationship with the opposite sex could ever be. And now, a year older and again without a valentine, I can tell you that I still believe what I believed a year ago—that God is good and faithful, even though my so-called “Prince Charming” has not arrived on my doorstep with one knee on the ground and a Tiffany & Co. box in hand. {And who’s to say that would ever happen anyway, or that I’d want it to? After all, I prefer Vera Wang…;)}

Before I go any further, I want to share a few lines from the Kutless song “Even If”:

“Even if the healing doesn’t come,
Life falls apart, and dreams are still undone.
You are God, You are good, forever Faithful One,
Even if the healing doesn’t come.”

The lyrics above are just incredible. I love them because they remind me not to let my thoughts and feelings get in the way of believing God’s truths. Despite what I think should happen in my life, God knows better, and He is still good no matter the outcome of any situation.

But the first several times I heard those words, I thought the song only applied to physical healing—i.e., “Even if God doesn’t heal my Grandma of cancer, He is still good.” While this is true and probably the band’s ultimate purpose in the song, I think the declaration made in their lyrics can be applied to so many other areas of our lives as well.

Think about it: Make a list of your biggest dreams and deepest desires for your life on earth. Now, take the item at the top of the list and add it to the fill-in-the-blank I have created from the Kutless lyrics:

Even if _____________ doesn’t come {or happen}, You are God, You are good, forever Faithful One.

I’ll be transparent and share with you what I would write in that blank:

Even if my ‘Prince Charming’ doesn’t come, You are God, You are good, forever Faithful One.

Wow. For a 22-year-old who has dreamed of a fairytale wedding since she was a little girl, that’s kind of a big deal. But this is not a conclusion I have come to on my own, because I’m not strong on my own. The only reason I am able to believe my fill-in-the-blank statement is because of the work God has done in my life, and because I have chosen to take a step of faith in trusting Him.

Now, let’s take a look at the three promises we’re made in the second half of that line, where we are told of God’s goodness and faithfulness. And as we do, I hope you will understand how completely we can trust God with our life’s story. And that includes the love chapters we so desperately desire to have written.

You are God

No matter how much I think I am in control of my own life, God is ultimately sovereign {Psalm 103:19}. And since I am not God, I am not in control of my future. As we often read in Jeremiah 29:11, God has a plan for each one of our lives. And as we are told in Proverbs 19:21, His will for our lives will prevail despite the plans we try to make on our own.

So, who is this God who not only controls the universe but also has a plan for you and me? I want to share some of my favorite biblical definitions of God. {And He is so much more; this is merely a snapshot. I encourage you to study each one further.}

God is Creator of the universe. {Genesis 1:1}

God is Savior of the world. {John 3:16}

God is Sovereign. {Isaiah 46:9}

God is Hope. {Romans 15:13}

God is Love. {1 John 4:8}

God is Comfort & Mercy. {2 Corinthians 1:3-4}

God is the Author of my story. {Psalm 139}

God is Good. {Psalm 100:5}

You are Good

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.” {Psalm 136:1}

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.” {Romans 8:28-29}

According to the verse above, every single thing that happens in our lives—romance or no romance, marriage or no marriage—happens for our good. And, according to the second half of that passage, what is good for us is anything that makes us like Christ {“conformed to the image of his Son”}.

Let’s be honest, sometimes believing in that takes some self-preaching. It may take some staring at ourselves in the mirror, saying, “God knows better than I do, and God is good,” over and over again until we believe it. And, even when our lives are filled with temporary pain, we can take heart and know that our trials are making us more like Christ, who is the Faithful One inviting us to spend eternity by His side.

You are forever Faithful One

When I think of the word “forever,” I think of eternity. I think of how, when we pass on, we as followers of Christ are given eternal life. We have to remember that life is momentary, temporary, fragile. And we have to remember that not only has God been faithful from the beginning until today, but also that He will continue to be faithful from tomorrow until the end.

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” {Revelation 21:4}

“Then I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse! The one sitting on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he judges and makes war. His eyes are like a flame of fire, and on his head are many diadems, and he has a name written that no one knows but himself. He is clothed in a robe dipped in blood, and the name by which he is called is The Word of God. And the armies of heaven, arrayed in fine linen, white and pure, were following him on white horses. From his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has a name written, King of kings and Lord of lords.” {Revelaton 19:11-16}

God gives us the promises of His word to hold onto, and they can be freeing when we find ourselves in the midst of difficult circumstances here on the earth. Don’t you think these promises put everything into perspective {singleness included}? What matters most in life is our relationship with God and our love for Him, not how madly and deeply we can fall in love with another human being. We must love God above all else–not for what He can do for us or what amazing future spouse He could bring us, but for how perfect, wonderful, gracious, merciful and good He is.

And in the meantime, despite whether we singles ever get married or not, we are given opportunities all around us to love intimately and selflessly. I love this quote from Are You Waiting for “The One”? by Margaret Kim Peterson & Dwight N. Peterson, which I am currently reading by recommendation of a friend:

“Intimacy is bigger than romance, and marital love has enough in common with other human loves that you can practice on people like your parents, your siblings, your neighbors and your friends….You will be much better equipped to learn to love a spouse if you have had practice ahead of time in knowing and being deeply known by others.”

And so, my single friends, let’s stop waiting for “the one” and start living our lives. Life for you and I has already begun, and God’s promises are as true for you as they are for your friends who are “in love.” You are dearly loved, deeply cherished and desperately desired by God. Hold onto Him this Valentine’s Day.

Jen

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7 Comments

  • Brigit Edwards

    Hey Jen! Just stopping by to say that your blog is SO awesome! You have such a beautiful heart for the Lord 🙂

    14 February, 2013 at 2:30 pm Reply
    • Jennifer Hope

      Thanks SO much Brigit! And thank you for reading my blog!! Hope you are doing well. 🙂

      7 March, 2013 at 7:57 pm Reply
  • Mary Seiber

    Jen, I am amazed at your ability to phrase so definitely what the stance of every single single adult should be. In my years of singles ministry both at my church and elsewhere, I would be constantly running into singles so desperate to be married, or married people who would feel the end all solution to my own issues was to get married (Did I really give off that vibe?.. I think not). The truth I would tell the singles was to learn to be who they were and who God wanted them to be. To the married, I could say little, but in observation I realized that you either matured before you got married or you had to mature together afterwards. You, my friend have a gift of wisdom well beyond your 22 years. I think it is the product of good parenting and good reasoning on your part. Kudos to you my friend.

    14 February, 2013 at 2:32 pm Reply
    • Jennifer Hope

      Thank you so much! Your comment has been an encouragement to me, even though I am just now getting to responding to it. 🙂

      7 March, 2013 at 7:58 pm Reply
  • Christine

    Thank you for this, Jen. Even though sometimes I have a hard time believing and trusting in His great plan, I KNOW that God ultimately wants the best for me and I am learning to wait patiently for His best 🙂 We should be using our single days praising and falling deeper in love with the One who provides us with unconditional love. I am always praying for my future husband and for the Lord to make me a more Godly woman for my match. I know that He will bring him to me according to His timing!

    26 March, 2013 at 6:21 pm Reply
    • Jennifer Hope

      Thank you for being open & sharing, Christine! It is really tough to trust God in this area especially. Lots of prayer 🙂

      PS I think I just fell in love with your blog!

      26 March, 2013 at 7:15 pm Reply
      • Christine

        Thank you, Jen! You have reminded me I need to update it! Can’t wait to read more about your blog 🙂

        27 March, 2013 at 5:39 pm Reply

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